You see...

Mood: Dying..., Longing for.....

This problem i was about to tell you the last time i posted something here....Well, it's not quite right to consider this a problem for others... but this is my blog isn't it? ;p

I dunno how i will start this entry but... Well, i have problems with this girl in our class... It's not that i hate her.. Infact, I love her... We got along together the first few months in school... but now... I'm not really sure... I just think that she's like avoiding to converse with me... 1st quarter, she told me that she likes me... I believed her... we talked happily(I think). Then one day she just said to me she doesn't like to be with me... or something like that. i was shocked to have heard her say that. I was of course saddened(who wouldn't? if you really care). I cried, for that was the only thing i could do... i didn't know the reason.. so the next day i asked her... and she said the 'reason'. I really thought that she didn't tell me the right things... I doubted. The next day, I knew the real reason from other people..( its harder if you hear those things from other people... than herself). Im sorry if i can't explain these things thoroughly because other people might see and get hurt. I hated myself for believing her... even though i think that trusting her was really right. Then just yesterday... I learned something that flabbergusted me the whole day, it was the shock of my life.. she liked another guy.. And mind you, that guy is so not cool... he copies what people do, and not to mention, he joins a group of students that he's not really welcome in, all the guys in that group are annoyed by his deeds... He thinks all the girls like him. but the girl has a reason, they have been friends for a long time. I really don't hate him personally, i even talk to him. but inside me i am thinking, why would she have liked him just after that, easily.. I was thinking that she really didn't like me... My friends told me to just quit, but i still wont, i wanna prove my point, that i still love her no matter what... even though she does those things.. i know she doesn't want to hurt me... but she does in the process in trying not to tell me all the things shes hiding from me... and that hurt me very much.. I just wish she read this....

I just love you... i really do.

That explains why my grades suddenly dropped... I'll try my best to recover... Wish me luck. ;p

-NieX